Nakama....

I got this word from my favorite anime One Piece.. Nakama is a Japanese word that when strictly translated can mean "a company, set, group, party, circle, gang, companion, fellow, mate, colleague, associate, etc." However, in One Piece (and to my favorite character Luffy) it means so much more than just that. It means "comrade/ally/crewmember" & "friend/mate/partner" and has a lot more weight to its significance than just saying a friend.

To Luffy, a "nakama" is a friend and comrade that he is willing to give his all for, he protects them with all of his power and being, and he is willing to fight to the death to keep them safe. He still does the same for his friends (tomodachi), but he is less concerned about them than he is about his nakama's well-being. He has friends spread all over the world that he thinks about now and then and looks out for when he is with them, but his nakama are the people who always remain by his side through thick and thin.. no matter what. It is those nakama that he desires to protect with every fiber of his being, even though he knows that they can take care of themselves.

I am very much the same.. without even realizing it at first I began to look at my own relationships with others. I have MANY people that I call my friend, and several score more that I consider acquaintances... but I have always felt like the relationships I have weren't quite deep enough. I see now that I have been searching the world for people that I myself might be able to call "nakama". People who will stay by my side through thick and thin.. no matter the squalls. People who would, upon hearing of my current plans for adventure, would jump on board without a second thought while trusting me to lead the way.

Keh.... I've tried again and again to form a relationship like this... and once or twice I had thought I had it.. But then things fell apart and I didn't even understand what the heck it was I had done wrong. Heck! I'm still not exactly sure what went wrong! All I know is that their trust in me to keep my word failed. I run at a different pace than the rest of the world.. Everyone today is all about now, now, now... where as I am much more flexible. Also.. it always involved money... and I learned the hard way that to most people money is far more important than friends. This lesson has been by far the hardest for me to learn.......

I simply don't understand how money could be so damned important! How can MONEY be more important than the people who are apart of your life? Why do people place so much more value on those insignificant shreds of paper and $$ signs than they do in the relationships they have with others? If you value your friends and family more than you value money, you can live a very rich life where everyone helps each other out. I guess I'm a bit socialist in this aspect as I believe wealth should be shared among those people you care about most.

I don't care about money.. I can't take it with me when I gone~ Besides! Money never makes people happy! No matter how much money a person might have, they are never happy unless they have family or close friends in which to share it with. I guess that's where my problems lie... Since I see money so much differently than the norm of people that I grew up with, of course it would cause problems.. Especially since I had little or no money at all during my college years and was dependent on others.. always promising to get them back once I finished college and got a good job.

I had every intent to do so and I still desire to return the money that was paid to me with a bit of tacked on interest.. but since it has taken me so long to get to a point where I finally can pay people back..... none of them talk to me anymore. They all got fed up with waiting and kicked me out of their lives without so much as a second glance... Hence why I felt so betrayed. But I guess I can't blame them... I did stay in college for 8 years without a decent way of paying them back. Most people are only willing to wait a year at most and don't give a rat's arse about promises. But I've gotten side-tracked~

Like Luffy.. I wish to find a small group of nakama... people I can let into my inner circle without fear of being betrayed. People I know I can trust and who I know trust and believe in me. I have been searching for 27.5 years for people like this and I have found some VERY close friends in the process~^^ They know who they are... But yet.. none of them are as reckless and crazy as I am to say that they will join me as I sail around the world. This is where the difference lies between calling them my best friends in the whole world and calling them my nakama. For they truly are my best friends in the whole entire world and I know for a fact that I can count on them to be there if ever I call with advice or aid if needed... & they can always count on me should they need me~^^ But I can't count on them to join me in my wild venture~ :P

I don't blame them though~^^ They have their own lives and their own dreams they wish to accomplish and I would NEVER take that away from them! I just wish I had 1 or 2 people like them that I could call my bestest friends in the whole wide world as well as my nakama because they'd willing join me and be my crew for when I finally set sail in a year or two saying, "You just tell me when & where.. & I'll be there!".. I'm still working on it though~^^ I haven't given up and I'm not the least bit upset with any of my friends! I love them as if they were my family. I want them to be happy and pursue their dreams as I have been.

I just hope that in time... I might find 1 or 2 people that I can call my Nakama........

WEBSITE UP & RUNNING!! :D

After 5 long hours of finagaling... I finally have my website built! :D Check it out! I hope you like it~^^ If you have any suggestions, please let me know! ;)

http://dssunnyfreedom.blogspot.com

Kya! Photography tools acquired! :D

I finally purchased my DSLR camera for the photography portion of my business! :D It's the 20.3 megapixel Samsung NX200 DSLR~^^ & I LOVE IT!!! It's light weight, simple to use, and has all the features I could possibly ask for! Check out some of the pictures I took yesterday!

Beautiful~ aren't they!? :D KYA!!! XD I can't WAIT to go to Jeju Island next month to take more pictures!! Wait for them! The next step now is to build a webpage for selling my photos digitally~ ;)

Ouch... >_<

So I just heard back from the ship designer.. He wants $8,000.00 Canadian for him and his crew to design me a ship and then give me a 2D color sketch of the ship itself.. TT^TT........

THERE'S NO WAY!!! Not when I know for a fact the I can get myself an actual nice working sailboat for about twice that. Back to the drawing board I guess. I'm just going to stick to my guns.. buy myself a used ~50ft sailboat.. redo the rigging so that she is equiped with gaff rigging and the sails that I desire (if for some reason I can't find a ship for sale that already has such rigging).. repaint her.. then sail off in my new ship.

When doing anything, it's best to stay within your budget. No need to put yourself in debt trying to do something you can't afford. You can still make your dreams come true even without all that cash.. as long as you are willing to be flexible and make a few sacrifices.. and I'm not about to give up!

I WILL make it happen! I'm sick and tired of living in a world that tries to deny people their dreams just because they aren't made of money! I will prove once and for all that one CAN make their dreams come true! No matter their station! No matter their background! No matter their trials! ANYONE CAN MAKE THEIR DREAMS COME TRUE! So long as they are willing to work hard for them!

Watch me world! I'm going to bust down every barrier and obstacle you put in front of me and make every single one of my dreams come true! AND THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO TO STOP ME!!!!! ＼(>o<)/

An Arab Dhow! :D

The designer finally e-mailed me back~ He told me that my designs remind him of the Arab Dhow.. I had no idea what kind of ship that was, so I looked it up.. & I LOVE IT!!! XD

This ship is very close to the exact kind of design I have been trying to draw up myself! Beautiful isn't it!? :D The designer then told me that I could have one built for me for a reasonable price in Egypt, Turkey or Malaysia. I have friends in Malaysia!!! :D I could very easily go to Malaysia, visit my friends, work, and oversee the building of my ship all at the same time! I still have a million and a half details to work out.. like costs, where to get my experience, time frame, etc.. but I finally have a more solid direction in which to move! ^^

This is a beautiful model of an Arab Dhow hull that I ADORE!

I'd love for my ship to be this beautiful! TvT

I asked the guy for more formal quotes on the costs for having him and his crew professionally design me a ship of this caliber and what kind of costs I'd be looking at to build such a ship at 48ft in length. Once I hear back from him on that, I will have a more solid idea of whether or not this avenue is doable for me. If he quotes me a couple hundred thousand... heck! more than $50,000 in order to build such a ship... I won't be able to do it and I'll simply have to scrap the idea. But if he gives me a quote of less than that, I could handle it and have my ship built within the next 4 years~^^

It may seem like a long time, but the time will fly by faster than one might imagine. I'll have to spend a year or two back in the states working, saving up money, getting sailing experience, getting my captain's license, and a few other things.. but after that, I should have about $35,000 saved up to start my build and then I can go to Malaysia to work and oversee the building of my ship. Maybe I'll happen upon some wealthy benefactor who will be willing to help me out in my venture~^^

LOL! Like that would ever happen! I've NEVER had that kind of luck! I've always had to fight tooth and nail for every single scrap I have ever gotten in this life and I seriously doubt that anything would change that now~

Anyhow~ Wish me luck! XD

What I can do..

I am anxious to get started with my new business and make my dream come true, but there isn't really anything I can do right now other than read my books on sailing and save up money. I can't leave my job due to my contract and also because I need the money. I can't purchase a boat yet because there is no reason for it since I can't use it until next year. I also have no way of being sure of what I am buying since I can't see the ship in person beforehand. I can purchase fabric and materials since materials here are so cheap.. but then I'd have to ship them to the US thus negating the money I had saved by buying them here.. so that's out.....

Ugh... I'm so anxious to get started but I'm stuck! *sigh* Oh well... there's nothing for it but to stick to it and bide my time until my contract is finished. I will read my books, studying sailing and carpentry, and save my money.

I can buying my DSLR and start selling my photography. I can make my website! :D I forgot about that! Ok~ There's something constructive for me to work on so that I don't feels as if I'm just sitting here with my thumb up my bum~^^♥

Once I have the site put together and found a host, I will post the link here. The site will explain my business and will also host all my photography for purchase. Keep your eyes open! ^^

Prudence and reality

I have come to realize that the most prudent and realistic path to my dream is not to rail against the times trying to build an old fashion ship.. but to simply purchase a modern used cruiser aand reoutfit her to suit my tastes. This will not only be the path of least resistance, but shall also be the fastest and cheapest way to attaining what I desire; a ship out on the ocean with no one to answer to except myself and mother nature. So I have finally decided to do just that. Why rail against the times? All it does is cause grief and makes it harder for you to attain whatever it is your heart desires~

People blockin' & hatin'

So people in the business of designing and building ships for a living don't want to help someone unless they have hundreds of thousands of dollars to invest in it... huh?

Fine then! I will just get my own ship design software and do the work myself! I am not about to let the society standard tell me what I can and cannot do! >:(

I WILL SET A NEW STANDARD!

A standard where the amount of effort decides whether or not you make it! Not money.. Where individual hard work decides whether or not a goal is reached! Not the amount of money invested or the kinds of connections one might have.. I know that this is what the American dream was based on, but now so many Americans and people around the world for that matter are being trapped in and denied their dreams by the greedy people who happen to have money or power.

I will reawaken the American dream~ NO! The HUMAN DREAM!! But not just for Americans.. I will awaken that dream in the hearts of everyone around the world! NO ONE IS GOING TO STOP ME FROM ATTAINING MY DREAM!! I may have to make adjustments here and there in order to attain it, but I am not giving up on having my very own sailboat and sailing/arts business!

No matter what! I WILL make it happen! ;) To all my doubters.. Thank You~^^ Your denial of it only makes me all the more determined TO PROVE YOU WRONG!! >:)

Plans denied...

Ok.. well maybe not denied.. but the ship designer told me there would be a lot of issues with the design I have in mind. He has asked me about how much money I was looking at spending on this, so after he reads that he may turn me away or tell me that I will need a lot more money.

I have asked him to let me know of some good ship design books that I could look at, so maybe I can redesign my ship yet again with more sound knowledge about what is safe and what isn't. I have also asked if they might have any designs that he thinks I may like and will suit my purposes. So, hopefully, I won't be turned away.

I have told the guy that I am in the very early stages of planning, so I hope he will understand and try to help me out. If he does, then I will be willing to pay them for some good designs.

I will have to think about the building material too. I may have to go fiberglass just to save money. We will see. I also need to find a shipyard in which to build my boat..

Who knows? Maybe I should just cut my losses and go for a used boat and fix it up? I have 10 months to figure it all out. By the time I get back to the states, I will have a solid plan all worked out~^^

Ship design companies contacted~

Ok! I've made it to the next step! I have just contacted a few ship design companies to ask for some advice on my designs and to see if they are sound enough to actually build. I am only in the very beginning stages of this, so it'll still be some time before I actually move on from here.

I have merely told them of my purpose and my ideas so as to ask for their advice. They may even say that they can't help me, so I will have to be patient until I hear back from them. One company in particular looked promising as their website even advertised "old-fashioned" yacht designing and the pictures of their ships were beautiful and quite close to what I was looking at before deciding to design my own.

I hope that they will e-mail me back soon with advice or even ask me to e-mail them my designs! If I can get blueprints drawn up before I even get back to the states, that would be AWESOME! I even mentioned that I am looking for a shipyard where I would be allowed to help in the building and construction of my ship, so maybe they will be able to give me some info on that as well~^^

Here I go... no turning back now... it's either invest & buckle down to doing some major work.. or drop it & move on........

& I REFUSE TO BACK DOWN!!! I am not about to give up on this dream! For once I have a totally feasible dream that will fulfill my every desire! Who in their right mind would give up something like that? Yes.... it'll cost me a lot of money to get started, but in the end it will be completely worth it! An investment that I know I can have returned to me almost ten-fold or more! So this is it.... Time to invest! ;)

Hrm.. ouch...

Well.. a phone call to the family has put a bit of a dent into my plans. Looks like my grandparents have gotten rid of the cement foundation that the old trailer used to sit on and have now planted fruit trees there. They also don't seem to want to have anyone around as often as I would be if I were to live with them or be building a boat in their yard... so now I gotta find a new place to build my boat and a place to live when I get back to the states.

*groans* Just more expenses to take away from my efforts to start my own business! TT^TT *sigh* But I'll figure something out. I can still make this work! I just gotta find the right job and the right location to do it all in.. I'm gonna have to work on all my connections to see what's possible and what isn't. I still want to do a Tall Ship internship, but I need to contact them for more information, because if they want to charge me to work on their ship.. forget it! I'm not going to pay someone to let me work on their ship!

Besides! There's tons of other ways I can get sailing experience. The trick is going to be finding a place to build my boat. I can always stay with family while I work on my ship. But where to build the ship where it's not going to cost me extra money? Every penny spent on something else is a penny taken away from my ship & my business.. which means it'll take longer to get her all up & running. I don't want it to take any longer than 2-3 years to get going & get me out on the open ocean!

So... now I guess I need to find myself a shipwright. That should be my next move I guess. If I can find a shipwright, then I can start getting a good figure on costs and maybe they will have  place where I can build my ship. I wonder if I can find a ship to fix up and cut down on the building time and costs? I seriously doubt it.. considering the kind of boat I wish to have.

Hrm.......... Things just got a bit more complicated......... BUT I AM NOT GIVING UP!!!

So many ideas!

I keep thinking about my ship and future business... making adjustments and improvements here and there. Scratching out things that would require too much effort or would be too stressful and putting in things that will be fun and simple to handle without having to get all kinds of certifications.

I have decided that I would like to become a dual citizen of Korea.. but that will require so much.... I am also thinking of becoming an Irish citizen! :D Migrate back to the country of my roots!! XD Ou! I can become an Irish citizen and then marry my Korean love! *thinks about it* KYAAA! (=>o<=)

OH MY GOSH THE FUTURE IS GOING TO BE A BLAST!!! XD I can't wait to get started!!

LOOK OUT WORLD!! HERE I COME!!! ＼＼(>o<)//