This coming weekend! :D

This weekend is the International Boat Show in Hwaseong.. and a friend got me a free Exhibitor's Pass to the show!! :D It started today and will end on Sunday. I will be going Saturday and Sunday to the show. The best part is.. Saturday and Sunday is when the Semi-final and Final races for the Korean World Cup is going to be held!!! XD KYAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!

I get to see the final races for the sailboats this year! I am SOOO taking my camera! What artist could possibly miss this perfect opportunity for some great images!? I am so unbelievably excited its CRAZY! Jeju was fun... but the boat show is sure to be a BLAST! I can't believe the guy was nice enough to get me a pass even though I told him that I am unable to afford the price he wanted to charge me for drawing up designs for my ship.

Thank the Lord and my blessed lucky stars for that one! TTvTT

Anyway! I'm steadily moving closer to my dream! Maybe I'll even be able to find some Nakama at the show! :D Kya!! XD Everybody!! FIGHTING!!!! LIVE YOUR DREAMS!!

Alright.. business logistics.. goals.. and hopes..

I've been doing some math and thinking. Seems I'll be able to make 10 - 15 Tshirt Teddies every month once I get everything up and running and I've settled into a routine with my new art business. It's a little hard to do that now since I'm working a full-time job. But once I'm able to concentrate fulling on Dream Ship, I'll be able to make a bear every 2 - 3 days; which means approximately 10 - 15 bears a month and ~$200 in donations for UNAIDS or WWF.

Besides bears, I'll also be making many other things; like accessories, jewelry, bags, other stuffed critters, and even altering old clothes for resale. There is also my photography and selling the prints. I'm hoping to be able to make a minimum of ~$500 a month. Once I have my ship, which will also be my home, office, and studio.. I should be able to survive off of that much at least. I've done it before, I can easily do it again. Over time, I hope to make a little bit more for every penny I make an equal amount of money will go towards raising money for the many charities I support.

As you know, half of my proceeds from Tshirt Teddies will be going to UNAIDS or WWF.. but I also wish to raise money for Heifer International, World Vision, and several others. With half of all the money I make goes to charity, then I will feel like a very rich and incredible person~^^ For as I've told many of my friends.. I don't care about money or being rich. I just want to make a difference!

I will also start writing books soon. I have the talent I've been told on many an occasion. I've just never really utilized it. So if I can get published and my books sell.. then I'll be able to raise even more money! :D If for some reason I happen to start making more than $3000 a month in proceeds (this is after half has already been sent to charity).. EVERYTHING over that $3000 mark will be sent to charity as well. There's no need for me to keep more than that amount each month! I don't need it. I have absolutely no desire to be amassing more than $40,000 a year.

Should all this take off and escape even my most wildest dreams to become a thriving empire in business......... O_O....... For one, I shall be deeply shocked... For two, I will then use my success as an example to the world as to how one should desire to live their life. Yes.. as much as I hate it.. we need to make money to survive in society today.. But that does not mean that should allow that need to rule over us and drive us into slaving away day and night for the better part of our adult lives! Money is simply a means to survive and function in the world today. It should not be the number one most important thing in our lives to the point where we throw everything else aside. At least.. that is my belief.

Anyway.. I guess I'm feeling rather contemplative today.. I keep righting down more and more stuff.. ke..ke.... Well~ Have a blessed time in life.. where ever you may be~^^

A little more about me...

Alright... I'm going to lay it all out on the line here....

I guess I'm beginning to see why all my relationships seem to crumble and fall apart.... it's not strictly the other person's fault... It's my own fault as well. *sigh* I'm not perfect.. no human is..... But I've come to realize that I expect far too much out of others, since I hold myself to a higher standard as well. Since I understand people so well, I expect people to simply understand me without me having to truly explaining myself fully and I have just as many faults as everyone else in this world..

As for my faults.. I'm judgmental, snobbish, and pretentious. I think I'm better than the average Jane & Joe.. yet I try to convince myself of otherwise. I'm hard, cold, and somewhat ruthless in my approach at times. I'm distrustful and easily lash out at people that I feel will betray me. I push EVERYONE away from me. I am so afraid of getting hurt again that the more I like someone, the more afraid of them I become and the more I fear that they will walk out on me... so I always keep people at arm's length and never let people get too close to me. I'm selfish, caniving, and self-centered. I always put myself before everyone and everything else.

In the past I wasn't like this... I was the opposite... but I had gotten hurt so many times because of my soft, sensitive heart that each time I rebounded.. I became more and more like the kind of person I just can't stand. All the things the world has shown me that people are.. All the things I hate about people..... I now have within myself. I may not show it all the time, but I see now that it's true. And it's no one else's fault I've become this way than my own. If I were a better person, I wouldn't have allowed such weakness and villiany to defile my heart. I would have remained strong and believed in myself.. continuing to give, love, and trust blindly as I always had.

But I guess that's my greatest fault of all.... I have absolutely no self-confidence. Or at least, I used to not have any... I couldn't believe in myself at all, no matter how much I tried..

But things are different now. I want to be that better person! I want to be able to give, love, and trust once more. So few people see the darkness in me... those that do don't hang around me for very long. However, I'm also wiser now than I was in the past.. I understand now that all things are both good & evil, light & darkness.. Nothing in existence is purely one or the other. NOTHING! All things are capable of both. And both are needed. You cannot have light without darkness nor can you have darkness without light...

Thus! I will continue forward as I have been. I will continue to strive towards balancing my two halves as a Libra & human should. The light that I hold in my heart I will allow to shine for all to see and the darkness in me shall become my shield, protecting me from those who would try to steal away that light. I will do all I can to try and limit my faults and expand upon my virtues. It's our mission in life, is it not? The ultimate goal that we are meant to strive towards until the end, right? Life is about living, learning, and growing.. and taking what we have learned before others, the gods, the stars, and the spirits of the otherworld so as to prove our worth. Those who fail in this mission of life are sent back until they have learned from their mistakes and learn to understand this fact of life.

I am no Christian. I'm no Catholic. No Muslim. Nor Buddhist. Or any other religious affiliation! & I'm no heathen either! I am simply a believer who listens to the quiet voices within her own heart and soul. For God & the Earth speak to us through our hearts, do they not? Those of us who are able to quiet their hearts and minds would know this. I believe in many things and I know that all religions have their purpose which is to try and help guide humanity towards the right course in life. But I do not believe that any one religion is right and that all the others are wrong.

I believe that there is some truth behind ALL religions! I believe that all religion has a common root! It is that commonality that I believe in.. It is that root that I am searching for.. The belief that unites all other beliefs into one common entity! I AM A BELIEVER!!! Nothing more and nothing less! And when I finally do find that commonality, that shred of truth from the original core of all belief and religion... I will do everything I can to share what I have found with the world!

All this petty squabbling over who is right and who is wrong, which religion is correct and which is false, who is righteous & holy and who is a bedamned heathen is nothing but a bunch of proposterious nonesense and I refuse to accept any of it! Thus, I refuse to align myself with any one religion within society. Ever! For none of them are wrong!

Each religion and individual belief is meant to help each of us grow and learn in our own way. They are as unique and important as any essential part of any given culture or personality. What gives ANYONE the right to say that any one religion is false!? Eh!? It's like people are saying someone's personality, culture, or heritage is false, rotten, or wrong! How stupid can you people get!? Are you saying that CENTURIES of heritage, learning, and culture are simply rubish and should be thrown out!? When are you ever going to learn!? 

 If we are unable to learn from each other and our own history, heritage, and culture.. then we will all simply continue making the same mistakes of the past on into eternity! Wake up already!! Can't you see that all this fighting is pointless and a mockery to the lives of those who came before us? All you're doing is wasting precious life... the greatest gift any living creature could ever be given! 

We could easily solve ALL the world's problems if we would simply put aside our petty differences and work together! Isn't that the power of human ingenuity? What in this world have we NOT been able to accomplish when we all came together to work towards it? NOT A DAMN THING!! 

 *heavy sigh* Why do I feel like I'm the only person who sees all this? =_=, 

 *heavy sigh & shakes head* Well... anyway... I guess I've said enough for today... Those of you who bother to read this.. contemplate it a bit. Ok?

Dream Retirement..

I've decided that I want either one of two things for my retirement. I either want a nice, quiet little farm out in the middle of nowhere near the ocean in a country with very few people or I will find myself a deserted little island somewhere in the Pacific and become a permanent Sea Gypsy, selling and trading my wares and fish. Whichever one I choose, I will have a small garden with a few fruit trees that are native to the area or at least won't harm the natural ecosystem; that way I can sell or trade the extra fruits & veggies for the things I may need.

If I have a small little farm somewhere, I will build my own house, by hand, and make it as self-sufficient as possible so I won't need to depend on anyone for the things I need. I will have an animal farm with goats for milk, chickens, and sheep for wool. I will learn how to spin thread and make my own fabric so that I won't ever have to buy anything I can just make it all myself with the wool from my own sheep. Any extra animals I happen to gain through procreation of my animals I will sell for extra cash. I'm thinking I want a hobbit style home where it is all built with thick and harden wood with a layer of soil and grass covering it. as if my home were simply a hollowed out hill~^^

If I go for some deserted island somewhere, I will build a whimsically shack that will be capable of surviving the ocean storms with hammock beds and a sandy floor. I may not have an animal farm in this case unless the island can support it without the animals harming the natural environment of the island. If not, then I will focus on my artwork and sell that to make money. I will write books and trade the seafood I catch for the supplies I need.

I'm still trying to decide which one I would like better. It's still pretty much 50/50. Once I start sailing in a year or two however, I will have a better idea of which one I might like best~^^

Been working hard..

I'm slowly getting my dream up off the ground.. it's a little rocky right now money wise, but otherwise things are going great! ^^ I've started my charity project for the two organizations I wish to support most. I've got my new camera and I'm heading to Jeju Island this weekend to take pictures. I should be able to get some nice images there!

Dreamstime has been rejecting my images as too common... which is a bit of a bummer.. but I'm not giving up just because of that! I can always sell the prints~^^ Then I get all the profit! My first charity project is already underway. I call the project the Tshirt Teddies Charity Project and the first project is JYJ Tshirt Teddies made from my JYJ Busan Concert T~^^ I'm already 75% done sewing the first of the 3 bears! I'll be able to have them all sewn before the stuffing even gets here. ;)

I can't seem to sleep tonight.. I've got so much on my mind. Stressed cuz of the money strain.. excited for the Jeju trip and the International Boat Show next week. but I think most of all I'm more flustered about the guy I've been talking to all month.... :"> He's funny, cute, charming, and a complete tease! He's constantly picking on me! But he also offers me really good and honest advice, supports me, and allows me to truly be myself. Course he picks on me for it... I'm a little older, so the other day he was calling me Granny.. pfft! lol!!! XD

Then just the other day he started flirting with me relentlessly. Next thing I know he says, "So you don't want to be important to me?" I was trying to get him to focus on his assignment that he had due in a couple of hours... I had told him that the assignment was far more important than me and that I could wait to chat with him later. Then he suddenly says THAT! O_O My jaw simply dropped... I felt like a dumbfounded deer in headlights staring forward blanking without comprehending a thing......

Ha! *shakes head* :) This boy.... he's really thrown me throw a loop. Well.. I'm trying not to think too much about it. We met online and have yet to meet each other in person.. but because of the other day, we spoke yesterday about maybe meeting in the future.. sometime around the start of the new year. Whether he flies here, or I fly there... we haven't decided yet, but who knows? Things may change. I'm not taking this too seriously. For once, I don't feel like I have to hang on his every word or that something is wrong when he doesn't respond. I'm not stressed over him, but he certainly makes me smile~^^

Every time my phone goes off now, I smile and immediately think it's him messaging me. Most of the time it is~^^ Sometimes it isn't.. but eh... He's had me smiling all month. That's really nice. & to not feel any pressure or anything... that's really nice. It's nice to have someone I can comfortably talk to without fear~^^ Anyway.. I'm feeling tired and peaceful finally.. I guess I will try to sleep now.. Good night everyone~

Meheheheheh!!! >;) Gotta love the way my mind works~

I thought of a way to have a completely FREE site for running my business through!! >:) Heh~ Well.. I guess I should call it a project.. its not a formal business per say. Just a place where I can showcase my art and accept requests through. Everything concerning Dream Ship will be available there! I decided not to go with a website, as I would be forced to pay for such a site monthly in order to keep it up and running after the first year. Also, it would cost me almost $20/month to make it an e-commerce site and that's too danged confusing for me. Thus, I have decided to simply make a new blog site in which to run Dream Ship through! ;)

Anything formally concerning Dream Ship shall be posted there from now on and this blog will simply be for my own personal musings and thoughts. I will still talk about Dream Ship here, but any official Dream Ship business or notices will be posted up under my Dream Ship blog. If you wish to check it out, here's the address: http://dssunnyfreedom.blogspot.com/

I do have a few images available on the blog now.. so I hope you will all visit~ 

Happy Hunting! ^v^ 

Keh.. Wow... How quickly life can change~

Wow... Everything that happens and everyone we meet... it is all for a reason. & I am damn glad that this boy Aaron messaged me. He's helped me to sort some things out that have been bothering me and has given me a new sense of direction. To think... a Singaporean was the one to help me feel pride in my heritage and country.

I have hated America and  the way things are in the world for most of my life. I have watched so much bs in the news and heard so much.. witnessed so much hated, greed, and negativity in this world and had become sickened by it. So much so that I was ready to simply turn my back on it all and say screw it! I still hate the way the world is today... but nothing will EVER get better if those people like myself who hate the world simply turn our backs against it.

If I don't like the way things are, then I should do what I can to change them. If I don't like my country's reputation within the world, then as an American I should work hard to try and change it. If I don't like how my country is, then as an American I should do my part to try and change it! For the very first time in my life, I finally understand the meaning of patriotism and having pride in one's country. I finally understand my duty.. what it is that I am mean to do in this world.

From now on.. no more bitching.. no more griping.. no more complaining! I will no longer sit back on the side lines and grumble about how horrible the game is nor how shitty the players are.. I am going to stand up and step onto the field myself and knock some heads together until things are straightened out more to my liking! Like I have always told myself and those around me.. "If you don't like your life, then change it!" Well.. now the same goes for the world..  If I don't like the world as it is, then I should do my part to try and change it!

If I don't.. then my children and grandchildren and great grandchildren will have to deal with the same shitty bs that I've had to deal with my whole life and there is no way in HELL that I am going to allow that! I swore.. I swore! That I would NEVER allow my children to go through what I have gone through! But in order to make sure that that doesn't happen.. I had better start working now in order to change the way things are!

Thank you Aaron.... I owe you one...... this is one thing I shall never forget!

Nakama....

I got this word from my favorite anime One Piece.. Nakama is a Japanese word that when strictly translated can mean "a company, set, group, party, circle, gang, companion, fellow, mate, colleague, associate, etc." However, in One Piece (and to my favorite character Luffy) it means so much more than just that. It means "comrade/ally/crewmember" & "friend/mate/partner" and has a lot more weight to its significance than just saying a friend.

To Luffy, a "nakama" is a friend and comrade that he is willing to give his all for, he protects them with all of his power and being, and he is willing to fight to the death to keep them safe. He still does the same for his friends (tomodachi), but he is less concerned about them than he is about his nakama's well-being. He has friends spread all over the world that he thinks about now and then and looks out for when he is with them, but his nakama are the people who always remain by his side through thick and thin.. no matter what. It is those nakama that he desires to protect with every fiber of his being, even though he knows that they can take care of themselves.

I am very much the same.. without even realizing it at first I began to look at my own relationships with others. I have MANY people that I call my friend, and several score more that I consider acquaintances... but I have always felt like the relationships I have weren't quite deep enough. I see now that I have been searching the world for people that I myself might be able to call "nakama". People who will stay by my side through thick and thin.. no matter the squalls. People who would, upon hearing of my current plans for adventure, would jump on board without a second thought while trusting me to lead the way.

Keh.... I've tried again and again to form a relationship like this... and once or twice I had thought I had it.. But then things fell apart and I didn't even understand what the heck it was I had done wrong. Heck! I'm still not exactly sure what went wrong! All I know is that their trust in me to keep my word failed. I run at a different pace than the rest of the world.. Everyone today is all about now, now, now... where as I am much more flexible. Also.. it always involved money... and I learned the hard way that to most people money is far more important than friends. This lesson has been by far the hardest for me to learn.......

I simply don't understand how money could be so damned important! How can MONEY be more important than the people who are apart of your life? Why do people place so much more value on those insignificant shreds of paper and $$ signs than they do in the relationships they have with others? If you value your friends and family more than you value money, you can live a very rich life where everyone helps each other out. I guess I'm a bit socialist in this aspect as I believe wealth should be shared among those people you care about most.

I don't care about money.. I can't take it with me when I gone~ Besides! Money never makes people happy! No matter how much money a person might have, they are never happy unless they have family or close friends in which to share it with. I guess that's where my problems lie... Since I see money so much differently than the norm of people that I grew up with, of course it would cause problems.. Especially since I had little or no money at all during my college years and was dependent on others.. always promising to get them back once I finished college and got a good job.

I had every intent to do so and I still desire to return the money that was paid to me with a bit of tacked on interest.. but since it has taken me so long to get to a point where I finally can pay people back..... none of them talk to me anymore. They all got fed up with waiting and kicked me out of their lives without so much as a second glance... Hence why I felt so betrayed. But I guess I can't blame them... I did stay in college for 8 years without a decent way of paying them back. Most people are only willing to wait a year at most and don't give a rat's arse about promises. But I've gotten side-tracked~

Like Luffy.. I wish to find a small group of nakama... people I can let into my inner circle without fear of being betrayed. People I know I can trust and who I know trust and believe in me. I have been searching for 27.5 years for people like this and I have found some VERY close friends in the process~^^ They know who they are... But yet.. none of them are as reckless and crazy as I am to say that they will join me as I sail around the world. This is where the difference lies between calling them my best friends in the whole world and calling them my nakama. For they truly are my best friends in the whole entire world and I know for a fact that I can count on them to be there if ever I call with advice or aid if needed... & they can always count on me should they need me~^^ But I can't count on them to join me in my wild venture~ :P

I don't blame them though~^^ They have their own lives and their own dreams they wish to accomplish and I would NEVER take that away from them! I just wish I had 1 or 2 people like them that I could call my bestest friends in the whole wide world as well as my nakama because they'd willing join me and be my crew for when I finally set sail in a year or two saying, "You just tell me when & where.. & I'll be there!".. I'm still working on it though~^^ I haven't given up and I'm not the least bit upset with any of my friends! I love them as if they were my family. I want them to be happy and pursue their dreams as I have been.

I just hope that in time... I might find 1 or 2 people that I can call my Nakama........

WEBSITE UP & RUNNING!! :D

After 5 long hours of finagaling... I finally have my website built! :D Check it out! I hope you like it~^^ If you have any suggestions, please let me know! ;)

http://dssunnyfreedom.blogspot.com

Kya! Photography tools acquired! :D

I finally purchased my DSLR camera for the photography portion of my business! :D It's the 20.3 megapixel Samsung NX200 DSLR~^^ & I LOVE IT!!! It's light weight, simple to use, and has all the features I could possibly ask for! Check out some of the pictures I took yesterday!

Beautiful~ aren't they!? :D KYA!!! XD I can't WAIT to go to Jeju Island next month to take more pictures!! Wait for them! The next step now is to build a webpage for selling my photos digitally~ ;)

Ouch... >_<

So I just heard back from the ship designer.. He wants $8,000.00 Canadian for him and his crew to design me a ship and then give me a 2D color sketch of the ship itself.. TT^TT........

THERE'S NO WAY!!! Not when I know for a fact the I can get myself an actual nice working sailboat for about twice that. Back to the drawing board I guess. I'm just going to stick to my guns.. buy myself a used ~50ft sailboat.. redo the rigging so that she is equiped with gaff rigging and the sails that I desire (if for some reason I can't find a ship for sale that already has such rigging).. repaint her.. then sail off in my new ship.

When doing anything, it's best to stay within your budget. No need to put yourself in debt trying to do something you can't afford. You can still make your dreams come true even without all that cash.. as long as you are willing to be flexible and make a few sacrifices.. and I'm not about to give up!

I WILL make it happen! I'm sick and tired of living in a world that tries to deny people their dreams just because they aren't made of money! I will prove once and for all that one CAN make their dreams come true! No matter their station! No matter their background! No matter their trials! ANYONE CAN MAKE THEIR DREAMS COME TRUE! So long as they are willing to work hard for them!

Watch me world! I'm going to bust down every barrier and obstacle you put in front of me and make every single one of my dreams come true! AND THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO TO STOP ME!!!!! ＼(>o<)/

An Arab Dhow! :D

The designer finally e-mailed me back~ He told me that my designs remind him of the Arab Dhow.. I had no idea what kind of ship that was, so I looked it up.. & I LOVE IT!!! XD

This ship is very close to the exact kind of design I have been trying to draw up myself! Beautiful isn't it!? :D The designer then told me that I could have one built for me for a reasonable price in Egypt, Turkey or Malaysia. I have friends in Malaysia!!! :D I could very easily go to Malaysia, visit my friends, work, and oversee the building of my ship all at the same time! I still have a million and a half details to work out.. like costs, where to get my experience, time frame, etc.. but I finally have a more solid direction in which to move! ^^

This is a beautiful model of an Arab Dhow hull that I ADORE!

I'd love for my ship to be this beautiful! TvT

I asked the guy for more formal quotes on the costs for having him and his crew professionally design me a ship of this caliber and what kind of costs I'd be looking at to build such a ship at 48ft in length. Once I hear back from him on that, I will have a more solid idea of whether or not this avenue is doable for me. If he quotes me a couple hundred thousand... heck! more than $50,000 in order to build such a ship... I won't be able to do it and I'll simply have to scrap the idea. But if he gives me a quote of less than that, I could handle it and have my ship built within the next 4 years~^^

It may seem like a long time, but the time will fly by faster than one might imagine. I'll have to spend a year or two back in the states working, saving up money, getting sailing experience, getting my captain's license, and a few other things.. but after that, I should have about $35,000 saved up to start my build and then I can go to Malaysia to work and oversee the building of my ship. Maybe I'll happen upon some wealthy benefactor who will be willing to help me out in my venture~^^

LOL! Like that would ever happen! I've NEVER had that kind of luck! I've always had to fight tooth and nail for every single scrap I have ever gotten in this life and I seriously doubt that anything would change that now~

Anyhow~ Wish me luck! XD

What I can do..

I am anxious to get started with my new business and make my dream come true, but there isn't really anything I can do right now other than read my books on sailing and save up money. I can't leave my job due to my contract and also because I need the money. I can't purchase a boat yet because there is no reason for it since I can't use it until next year. I also have no way of being sure of what I am buying since I can't see the ship in person beforehand. I can purchase fabric and materials since materials here are so cheap.. but then I'd have to ship them to the US thus negating the money I had saved by buying them here.. so that's out.....

Ugh... I'm so anxious to get started but I'm stuck! *sigh* Oh well... there's nothing for it but to stick to it and bide my time until my contract is finished. I will read my books, studying sailing and carpentry, and save my money.

I can buying my DSLR and start selling my photography. I can make my website! :D I forgot about that! Ok~ There's something constructive for me to work on so that I don't feels as if I'm just sitting here with my thumb up my bum~^^♥

Once I have the site put together and found a host, I will post the link here. The site will explain my business and will also host all my photography for purchase. Keep your eyes open! ^^

Prudence and reality

I have come to realize that the most prudent and realistic path to my dream is not to rail against the times trying to build an old fashion ship.. but to simply purchase a modern used cruiser aand reoutfit her to suit my tastes. This will not only be the path of least resistance, but shall also be the fastest and cheapest way to attaining what I desire; a ship out on the ocean with no one to answer to except myself and mother nature. So I have finally decided to do just that. Why rail against the times? All it does is cause grief and makes it harder for you to attain whatever it is your heart desires~

People blockin' & hatin'

So people in the business of designing and building ships for a living don't want to help someone unless they have hundreds of thousands of dollars to invest in it... huh?

Fine then! I will just get my own ship design software and do the work myself! I am not about to let the society standard tell me what I can and cannot do! >:(

I WILL SET A NEW STANDARD!

A standard where the amount of effort decides whether or not you make it! Not money.. Where individual hard work decides whether or not a goal is reached! Not the amount of money invested or the kinds of connections one might have.. I know that this is what the American dream was based on, but now so many Americans and people around the world for that matter are being trapped in and denied their dreams by the greedy people who happen to have money or power.

I will reawaken the American dream~ NO! The HUMAN DREAM!! But not just for Americans.. I will awaken that dream in the hearts of everyone around the world! NO ONE IS GOING TO STOP ME FROM ATTAINING MY DREAM!! I may have to make adjustments here and there in order to attain it, but I am not giving up on having my very own sailboat and sailing/arts business!

No matter what! I WILL make it happen! ;) To all my doubters.. Thank You~^^ Your denial of it only makes me all the more determined TO PROVE YOU WRONG!! >:)

Plans denied...

Ok.. well maybe not denied.. but the ship designer told me there would be a lot of issues with the design I have in mind. He has asked me about how much money I was looking at spending on this, so after he reads that he may turn me away or tell me that I will need a lot more money.

I have asked him to let me know of some good ship design books that I could look at, so maybe I can redesign my ship yet again with more sound knowledge about what is safe and what isn't. I have also asked if they might have any designs that he thinks I may like and will suit my purposes. So, hopefully, I won't be turned away.

I have told the guy that I am in the very early stages of planning, so I hope he will understand and try to help me out. If he does, then I will be willing to pay them for some good designs.

I will have to think about the building material too. I may have to go fiberglass just to save money. We will see. I also need to find a shipyard in which to build my boat..

Who knows? Maybe I should just cut my losses and go for a used boat and fix it up? I have 10 months to figure it all out. By the time I get back to the states, I will have a solid plan all worked out~^^

Ship design companies contacted~

Ok! I've made it to the next step! I have just contacted a few ship design companies to ask for some advice on my designs and to see if they are sound enough to actually build. I am only in the very beginning stages of this, so it'll still be some time before I actually move on from here.

I have merely told them of my purpose and my ideas so as to ask for their advice. They may even say that they can't help me, so I will have to be patient until I hear back from them. One company in particular looked promising as their website even advertised "old-fashioned" yacht designing and the pictures of their ships were beautiful and quite close to what I was looking at before deciding to design my own.

I hope that they will e-mail me back soon with advice or even ask me to e-mail them my designs! If I can get blueprints drawn up before I even get back to the states, that would be AWESOME! I even mentioned that I am looking for a shipyard where I would be allowed to help in the building and construction of my ship, so maybe they will be able to give me some info on that as well~^^

Here I go... no turning back now... it's either invest & buckle down to doing some major work.. or drop it & move on........

& I REFUSE TO BACK DOWN!!! I am not about to give up on this dream! For once I have a totally feasible dream that will fulfill my every desire! Who in their right mind would give up something like that? Yes.... it'll cost me a lot of money to get started, but in the end it will be completely worth it! An investment that I know I can have returned to me almost ten-fold or more! So this is it.... Time to invest! ;)

Hrm.. ouch...

Well.. a phone call to the family has put a bit of a dent into my plans. Looks like my grandparents have gotten rid of the cement foundation that the old trailer used to sit on and have now planted fruit trees there. They also don't seem to want to have anyone around as often as I would be if I were to live with them or be building a boat in their yard... so now I gotta find a new place to build my boat and a place to live when I get back to the states.

*groans* Just more expenses to take away from my efforts to start my own business! TT^TT *sigh* But I'll figure something out. I can still make this work! I just gotta find the right job and the right location to do it all in.. I'm gonna have to work on all my connections to see what's possible and what isn't. I still want to do a Tall Ship internship, but I need to contact them for more information, because if they want to charge me to work on their ship.. forget it! I'm not going to pay someone to let me work on their ship!

Besides! There's tons of other ways I can get sailing experience. The trick is going to be finding a place to build my boat. I can always stay with family while I work on my ship. But where to build the ship where it's not going to cost me extra money? Every penny spent on something else is a penny taken away from my ship & my business.. which means it'll take longer to get her all up & running. I don't want it to take any longer than 2-3 years to get going & get me out on the open ocean!

So... now I guess I need to find myself a shipwright. That should be my next move I guess. If I can find a shipwright, then I can start getting a good figure on costs and maybe they will have  place where I can build my ship. I wonder if I can find a ship to fix up and cut down on the building time and costs? I seriously doubt it.. considering the kind of boat I wish to have.

Hrm.......... Things just got a bit more complicated......... BUT I AM NOT GIVING UP!!!

So many ideas!

I keep thinking about my ship and future business... making adjustments and improvements here and there. Scratching out things that would require too much effort or would be too stressful and putting in things that will be fun and simple to handle without having to get all kinds of certifications.

I have decided that I would like to become a dual citizen of Korea.. but that will require so much.... I am also thinking of becoming an Irish citizen! :D Migrate back to the country of my roots!! XD Ou! I can become an Irish citizen and then marry my Korean love! *thinks about it* KYAAA! (=>o<=)

OH MY GOSH THE FUTURE IS GOING TO BE A BLAST!!! XD I can't wait to get started!!

LOOK OUT WORLD!! HERE I COME!!! ＼＼(>o<)//

So...

I am slowly getting together the materials and knowledge I need to build a boat. I need to start getting together info on how to run my own business. I have my sailing books which I have been reading, little by little, but nothing beats first hand experience. So I will be gaining the bulk of my knowledge of sailing through crewing and internships when I get back to the states.

I have all kinds of ideas and thoughts on where to get my crafting supplies, so no worries there. I have a place I can get my wood from for my ship and I'm working on a more sound ship design. All I need is for a professional shipwright to look over the designs and tell me if it's doable.. or tweak the designs so they will be.

I have plenty of job opportunities in the states due to my education, experience, and connections, so I won't have too much difficulty finding a good job to fund the building of my dream. Now all I need is to get back, get started, and find myself some good, reliable nakama who want to join me in this venture. No one ever wants to go it alone.. but I will if I have to. I've always had to in the past, so I see no difference in this. I'm not afraid to be on my own.. I can take care of myself~ But it would be nice to have some nakama to share my dreams with...